Its tough. Sometimes they invade your personal space before you have the opportunity to flee. But. With this patented guide, spotting a fucking asshole will be a cinch.
Aviator Shades: Well. Well. Look at you 'Ponch' Poncherello. Looking hipster asshole chic and CHIPs sharp all in one neat little package. Too bad, those bad ass shades are not mirrored on the inside, so you can see what we see in them, ya know, besides ourselves laughing at you. A fucking trendsetting wannabe fuckstain whose style will be passe before I finish typing this....sentence. Guess that future wasn't so bright, that you had to wear shades.
But wait. Perhaps your a pilot? Howard Hughes. Aviator of those unfriendly skies. Or as I like to refer to you as. ASSHOLE. Or glorified bus driver, Take your pick. Both apply. What are you and your union sisters crying about this week? How down trodden you are? How you should be making millions to work for Peoples Express or whatever prestigious airline you fly for? With that. I agree. You should be making millions a year working for an airline. Only snag is you went to flight school. When you should of got your MBA, so you too can gut your precious airline. But hey. Its cool. You get to sleep in crew rooms and have some 75 year old skank blow you on layovers. How could you possibly complain? You never hear greyhound bus drivers bitch and moan. Why must we always hear you?
Although, You do a hell of a job when I fly. I do appreciate you getting on the blower and giving us your evening at the improv comedy routine. Ya, know the whole "We'll be landing in Barbados instead of Moose Knunckle, WY." BAWWW HA HA, Fucking, laugh, riot. Tho. I really appreciate you getting on the mic and giving me a turn by turn rundown of the flight plan. AHHHH (static)AHHHH we'll be flying over Scranton, PA....AHHHH (FUZZZZZZZ) (STATIC) 5 minutes of pointless bullshit minutia details, I cant hear cause of the crying kid next to me. This flight plan info would be great if A. We weren't 30K feet in the air so I could take pictures. B. I wasn't in the aisle seat passed out from $7 minis of Absolute. C. I gave a fuck. Your job is to get me there. Fast and efficient. In this fucking filthy 30 year old piece of shit means of transportation with as little interaction as possible. Just like a good bus driver should. Thanks Kramden!
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Monday, August 1, 2011
Fox
| http://www.fox.com/ Fox you've done it again! 13 days til this show premiers and 14 til its canceled. Did I mention its produced by Willie Beamen? The promo for this stinky piece of shit really hammers it home, as if a halfassed Ali G show knockoff isn't enough incentive to watch. Produced by? Who gives a fuck? I never got that? (voice of god) FROM THE PRODUCERS OF, like I give a fuck who shelled out coin to sit around on the set and blow farts into a directors chair with their name on it and call themselves producer. |
SOS!! SAVE OUR SLOBS
http://blog.games.yahoo.com/blog/866-xbox-addict-dies-from-blood-clot/
Action must be taken now!!! Wont someone PLEASE THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN! How would you like us to nanny state this tragic epidemic? Perhaps you could send me a list of all the fat ass, chalk faced, lazy video game addicts and I could make house calls and go and pry their clawed talons from their xbox controllers, get them up, walk around the dank basement which they inhabit. Fluff their beanbag chairs for them, shift them around every couple of hours so their enlarged hearts don't explode. Oh, were all willing to do what it takes to save your poor children, since your helpless and have reared a complete and total mental defective. This is a crippling addiction. I wont sit idly by while more, in this case budding scholars of higher learning fall victim to this. The Hallowed halls of The University of Leicester will be darkened. Think of all he had to do to gain acceptance to this prestigious institution. Mainly opening the front door. Which I'm sure was a feat for him in itself.
Action must be taken now!!! Wont someone PLEASE THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN! How would you like us to nanny state this tragic epidemic? Perhaps you could send me a list of all the fat ass, chalk faced, lazy video game addicts and I could make house calls and go and pry their clawed talons from their xbox controllers, get them up, walk around the dank basement which they inhabit. Fluff their beanbag chairs for them, shift them around every couple of hours so their enlarged hearts don't explode. Oh, were all willing to do what it takes to save your poor children, since your helpless and have reared a complete and total mental defective. This is a crippling addiction. I wont sit idly by while more, in this case budding scholars of higher learning fall victim to this. The Hallowed halls of The University of Leicester will be darkened. Think of all he had to do to gain acceptance to this prestigious institution. Mainly opening the front door. Which I'm sure was a feat for him in itself.
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