HP's Plea

In the wake of an over enthusiastic sports super fan who got a little too excited over a 99 cent baseball tossed to him and fell to his death. HP is urging lawmakers to stop worrying about unimportant issues like this debt ceiling and its the economy stupid, redundant topics of the day and finally pass legislation outlawing baseballs being tossed to fans. Its FAR to dangerous! Perhaps a net installed around the perimeter of baseball fields will safeguard us from....well, US. Or pass a law requiring each and every American to wear a safety suit anytime we leave our homes. Think John Travolta in boy in the plastic bubble as a guide to what said safety suit will look like. And wave goodbye to plastic beads tossed to drunk assholes at Mardi Gras and put down the t shirt cannon! Haven't we learned from the tragic passing of Maude Flanders that cheap giveaways thrown to people is the leading cause of death of fucking idiots?