Tuesday, July 26, 2011

The end of the world


http://www.phillyburbs.com/entertainment/local_entertainment/tim-robbins-music-debut-has-been-a-long-time-coming/article_c9315f6e-c3c8-5ce5-891a-89e04c165a9e.html

Fear not worried Americans, all your troubles have been answered! Ebby Calvin "Nuke" LaLoosh AKA Andy the convict repeatedly forcibly ass raped at Shawshank Prision AKA Tim Robbins has released an album! This will make for wonderful background music for when people start blowing their brains out when the economy totally collapses! Thanks Tim.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

HP's Plea


In the wake of an over enthusiastic sports super fan who got a little too excited over a 99 cent baseball tossed to him and fell to his death. HP is urging lawmakers to stop worrying about unimportant issues like this debt ceiling and its the economy stupid, redundant topics of the day and finally pass legislation outlawing baseballs being tossed to fans. Its FAR to dangerous! Perhaps a net installed around the perimeter of baseball fields will safeguard us from....well, US. Or pass a law requiring each and every American to wear a safety suit anytime we leave our homes. Think John Travolta in boy in the plastic bubble as a guide to what said safety suit will look like. And wave goodbye to plastic beads tossed to drunk assholes at Mardi Gras and put down the t shirt cannon! Haven't we learned from the tragic passing of Maude Flanders that cheap giveaways thrown to people is the leading cause of death of fucking idiots?